Hello! It is September and I haven't been around, and I am not committing to this properly. I need to really write more. I don't know how I can be on the internet all of the time and not blog. This is what I want to do mostly and I just fight with my with my brain like "No, no...you can't do this. You aren't good. Who's gonna read it?" And I'm not posting to fish for things, I've got swell support in my life on this writing business. This blog is seriously just a stream of consciousness. I see other people in the world with book deals and I just say, man why not me?!
I'll tell you, cause I'm not doing it. I'm just not out there writing once a day or putting any of my thoughts to paper. I'm listening to my doubts! I hate my doubts. They are rude and stifling. Doubts get in your head and drown your dreams. If you have this same problem, and you've overcome it or are wanting to overcome it:
A) Help a sister out!
B) We can pull each other up from the depths and really slough off those fears and doubts and blockades we've got running inside our mind.
Because that's really what it all feels like. There's this one part of me that is like yea! I can do this! And unfortunately that part is a little small and easily bullied by this other part that stands up, shoos it away and says, no no small one. Stop the nonsense, you can't do things like that...go back to what you know and shush.
It's sad. I started this blog for me as an online journal and in hopes of combating the struggle inside myself. I would say that this particular entry is the realest on the books and maybe that start and push that the small one needs to rise up and shout from the roof tops.
I hope so!
Keep on, keepin' on,
M.
