Hello! It is September and I haven't been around, and I am not committing to this properly. I need to really write more. I don't know how I can be on the internet all of the time and not blog. This is what I want to do mostly and I just fight with my with my brain like "No, no...you can't do this. You aren't good. Who's gonna read it?" And I'm not posting to fish for things, I've got swell support in my life on this writing business. This blog is seriously just a stream of consciousness. I see other people in the world with book deals and I just say, man why not me?!
I'll tell you, cause I'm not doing it. I'm just not out there writing once a day or putting any of my thoughts to paper. I'm listening to my doubts! I hate my doubts. They are rude and stifling. Doubts get in your head and drown your dreams. If you have this same problem, and you've overcome it or are wanting to overcome it:
A) Help a sister out!
B) We can pull each other up from the depths and really slough off those fears and doubts and blockades we've got running inside our mind.
Because that's really what it all feels like. There's this one part of me that is like yea! I can do this! And unfortunately that part is a little small and easily bullied by this other part that stands up, shoos it away and says, no no small one. Stop the nonsense, you can't do things like that...go back to what you know and shush.
It's sad. I started this blog for me as an online journal and in hopes of combating the struggle inside myself. I would say that this particular entry is the realest on the books and maybe that start and push that the small one needs to rise up and shout from the roof tops.
I hope so!
Keep on, keepin' on,
M.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
I started really writing again....
Ok, so I had tried writing a short story for an anthology, and bummed myself out by not finishing it.
Now I still only have Part 1, but I will put it out on here for your reading pleasure!
Hopefully this one won't turn out like Inga.......unfinished :/
Lena opened her eyes to see the sun streaming through her curtains. Looking at the clock on the wall she saw it was 7:40AM. "Ugh, so early. Brain why are you waking me up on a Saturday?"
She rolled over to her snoozing skunk shielding her tiny eyes from the morning glare. Covering Isis with her blanket, she eased out of bed to go make a cup of coffee. Everything was quiet in her lovely bungalow. Setting the kettle on, she peered into the living the living room and saw that in fact, her husband was not sleeping on the sofa.
"He must be outside." she thought to herself. A blue jay caught her fancy suddenly and had it not been for the piercing whistle filling her kitchen, she would have stayed transfixed on the bird's activity.
"Wake up, will you. Might as well go get a bit of fresh air and find Magnus." Her thoughts prodded at her.
"Oh well, ok. I'll find my shoes and robe. Also, is it off to be answering your own self? Hahaha, please don't answer that..."
Down the steps and across the garden path she stolled enjoying the morning dew and the hazy sunlight. As she neared the edge of the vegtables, she heard the sweet sounds of The Doors wafting from Magnus' workshop. He was up and at it. Knocking softly on the old shed door so as not to startle him, she noticed a plume of pale smoke rising from another home a couple blocks over. It was May, in Florida, not really the time for a proper fire. Magnus opened the door and broke Lena's concentration with a soft kiss hello.
"Come on in love. Do you like this one so far?" He beckoned her towards his current project, the restoration of a late 19th century armoire for a client in Buffalo. The dark wood and pearl inlay was beginning to shine up just as it had centuries ago.
"Magnus it's beautiful! You are a true craftsman my dear."
Lena handed him a mug of coffee. The weather was lovely and bright, perfect for a walk. Magnus continued upon his project, Lena went in to change from her robe to a pair of shorts. The neighborhood the couple had moved to was rich with history from the 1920's. All brick roads and porches filled with fairy lights and flowers. Lena set out past the old church and down a street she hadn't explored yet. It was the oldest part of the block, the homes had been there since 1910 and had once housed workers from the first orange groves. Time had passed and now these bungalows were lined in picket fences and young couples enjoying the paper in rocking chairs. There were always goings-on within the little neighborhood and it really strengthened the community vibe. Lena was thoroughly enjoying her stroll in this part when a waft of sweet incense reached her. She turned and realized that she was standing in front of where the smoke had been trailing this morning. Looking up at the porch she saw beautiful tapestries, all vibrantly dyed. In stark contrast were a multitude of vines and plants all with an odd theme. All there flowers were shaded in dark purples and blacks. Every single one. They were breath-taking against the white washed porch.
"Hello?" Lena called softly.
To whom she was not exactly sure. She was quite a bit shyer than her dear Magnus and tended to have rather reclusive tendencies. Something about this garden, however, made her ask again:
"Hello? Is anyone home? I just had a question about your goth garden..." Lena trailed off. She didn't see a car and figured no one was home. Setting off to further explore, she suddenly heard a velvet voice from above.
"Dear, so sorry. I am up in my attic! Be down in a moment!"
Lena stared at the small attic window where she had there had just been the smallest wisp of a woman. She went back over to the steps of the porch and the door opened softly. Lena was greeted by a very small woman of about 85 with long silver hair and massive eyes like saucers. She had an emerald green pantsuit on and a beautiful crystal around her neck on a gossamer strand of gold. How that chain held such a large stone was beyond belief.
"Darling girl, how are you?? What brings you my way?"
"I-I-I just went for a walk, and then the flowers. I don't know, I was just drawn to them I guess. I, my name is Lena. And I'm alright. Your name is....?"
"Agatha. Darling, I specialize in the darker exotics you see. I can give you a few if you'd like."
Lena loved rare plants, this was a dream come true. "Sure, that would be amazing!"
Agatha smiled and began to procure some clippings and pots for Lena to take home.
"This is a Bat Flower, very hearty. And this is a Primula, which is very close to a Primrose. Finally I shall give you a little Midnight Supreme Rose. So wonderful! They are a deep black-navy edged in a bright dark blue, you will be overjoyed at the sight of there blooms!"
"Agatha these are all too much, how can I thank you?"
"Just come round once a week and help me do a bit of outdoor sprucing, I think this could be a great friendship, darling girl."
Lena waved good bye to her new found friend and walked back home with her new plant babies. Magnus was surely wondering where she had gone off to. Arriving home and unlocking the gate, Magnus popped right out of the kitchen door.
"I was getting antsy, what are all those from?"
Lena told him all about her little adventure and gave him the run down of their new mini garden. He gave her a bit of a skeptical look, but then again he was used to Lena being over excited and jumping head first into things. This was just another crazy idea to him, but then they always make him smile.
To be continued....... :)
Keep on, Keepin' on,
M.
Now I still only have Part 1, but I will put it out on here for your reading pleasure!
Hopefully this one won't turn out like Inga.......unfinished :/
Lena opened her eyes to see the sun streaming through her curtains. Looking at the clock on the wall she saw it was 7:40AM. "Ugh, so early. Brain why are you waking me up on a Saturday?"
She rolled over to her snoozing skunk shielding her tiny eyes from the morning glare. Covering Isis with her blanket, she eased out of bed to go make a cup of coffee. Everything was quiet in her lovely bungalow. Setting the kettle on, she peered into the living the living room and saw that in fact, her husband was not sleeping on the sofa.
"He must be outside." she thought to herself. A blue jay caught her fancy suddenly and had it not been for the piercing whistle filling her kitchen, she would have stayed transfixed on the bird's activity.
"Wake up, will you. Might as well go get a bit of fresh air and find Magnus." Her thoughts prodded at her.
"Oh well, ok. I'll find my shoes and robe. Also, is it off to be answering your own self? Hahaha, please don't answer that..."
Down the steps and across the garden path she stolled enjoying the morning dew and the hazy sunlight. As she neared the edge of the vegtables, she heard the sweet sounds of The Doors wafting from Magnus' workshop. He was up and at it. Knocking softly on the old shed door so as not to startle him, she noticed a plume of pale smoke rising from another home a couple blocks over. It was May, in Florida, not really the time for a proper fire. Magnus opened the door and broke Lena's concentration with a soft kiss hello.
"Come on in love. Do you like this one so far?" He beckoned her towards his current project, the restoration of a late 19th century armoire for a client in Buffalo. The dark wood and pearl inlay was beginning to shine up just as it had centuries ago.
"Magnus it's beautiful! You are a true craftsman my dear."
Lena handed him a mug of coffee. The weather was lovely and bright, perfect for a walk. Magnus continued upon his project, Lena went in to change from her robe to a pair of shorts. The neighborhood the couple had moved to was rich with history from the 1920's. All brick roads and porches filled with fairy lights and flowers. Lena set out past the old church and down a street she hadn't explored yet. It was the oldest part of the block, the homes had been there since 1910 and had once housed workers from the first orange groves. Time had passed and now these bungalows were lined in picket fences and young couples enjoying the paper in rocking chairs. There were always goings-on within the little neighborhood and it really strengthened the community vibe. Lena was thoroughly enjoying her stroll in this part when a waft of sweet incense reached her. She turned and realized that she was standing in front of where the smoke had been trailing this morning. Looking up at the porch she saw beautiful tapestries, all vibrantly dyed. In stark contrast were a multitude of vines and plants all with an odd theme. All there flowers were shaded in dark purples and blacks. Every single one. They were breath-taking against the white washed porch.
"Hello?" Lena called softly.
To whom she was not exactly sure. She was quite a bit shyer than her dear Magnus and tended to have rather reclusive tendencies. Something about this garden, however, made her ask again:
"Hello? Is anyone home? I just had a question about your goth garden..." Lena trailed off. She didn't see a car and figured no one was home. Setting off to further explore, she suddenly heard a velvet voice from above.
"Dear, so sorry. I am up in my attic! Be down in a moment!"
Lena stared at the small attic window where she had there had just been the smallest wisp of a woman. She went back over to the steps of the porch and the door opened softly. Lena was greeted by a very small woman of about 85 with long silver hair and massive eyes like saucers. She had an emerald green pantsuit on and a beautiful crystal around her neck on a gossamer strand of gold. How that chain held such a large stone was beyond belief.
"Darling girl, how are you?? What brings you my way?"
"I-I-I just went for a walk, and then the flowers. I don't know, I was just drawn to them I guess. I, my name is Lena. And I'm alright. Your name is....?"
"Agatha. Darling, I specialize in the darker exotics you see. I can give you a few if you'd like."
Lena loved rare plants, this was a dream come true. "Sure, that would be amazing!"
Agatha smiled and began to procure some clippings and pots for Lena to take home.
"This is a Bat Flower, very hearty. And this is a Primula, which is very close to a Primrose. Finally I shall give you a little Midnight Supreme Rose. So wonderful! They are a deep black-navy edged in a bright dark blue, you will be overjoyed at the sight of there blooms!"
"Agatha these are all too much, how can I thank you?"
"Just come round once a week and help me do a bit of outdoor sprucing, I think this could be a great friendship, darling girl."
Lena waved good bye to her new found friend and walked back home with her new plant babies. Magnus was surely wondering where she had gone off to. Arriving home and unlocking the gate, Magnus popped right out of the kitchen door.
"I was getting antsy, what are all those from?"
Lena told him all about her little adventure and gave him the run down of their new mini garden. He gave her a bit of a skeptical look, but then again he was used to Lena being over excited and jumping head first into things. This was just another crazy idea to him, but then they always make him smile.
To be continued....... :)
Keep on, Keepin' on,
M.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
May Flowers :)
Ok! I have moved! We are reasonably settled. Still need to unpack a bit and get a few more pieces of furniture, but it looks like our home and I don't think I could love it any more than I do :)
The neighborhood is lovely and everyone is SO welcoming! I feel so safe and happy and I sit on my porch and people walk by with greetings and stories. It's like a movie. It's perfect.
I'll do a photo blog tomorrow with the morning light, y'all will love it.
Keep on, keepin' on
M.
The neighborhood is lovely and everyone is SO welcoming! I feel so safe and happy and I sit on my porch and people walk by with greetings and stories. It's like a movie. It's perfect.
I'll do a photo blog tomorrow with the morning light, y'all will love it.
Keep on, keepin' on
M.
Monday, April 7, 2014
HELLO!
Hello fair readers!
Many apologies for my lack of bloggin' :(
It has been rather stressful around here and I sort of forget that I could de-stress by writing. I make a pledge to you (and me!) though, I shall be keeping up on this little journal very very soon! My man and I have found a wonderful place to live and will be moving in May 1st if not sooner. It's a lovely old house in St. Pete full of 1920's charm :) I feel it will be quite an excellent change in all facets of our life.
So, watch this space!
Keep on, keepin' on!
M.
Many apologies for my lack of bloggin' :(
It has been rather stressful around here and I sort of forget that I could de-stress by writing. I make a pledge to you (and me!) though, I shall be keeping up on this little journal very very soon! My man and I have found a wonderful place to live and will be moving in May 1st if not sooner. It's a lovely old house in St. Pete full of 1920's charm :) I feel it will be quite an excellent change in all facets of our life.
So, watch this space!
Keep on, keepin' on!
M.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Updates, Since I'm A Bit Of A Crap Blogger....
What's happened since I last typed to you on the interwebs? Well, most exciting: Got myself a rad little car!
She's a 2012 VW Beetle and I good not be more over the moon about it. She's so fancy! I am a proper fancy lady now!
Life otherwise is fine, man's doing great. He lost 20 pounds by putting juicing into his daily life! Superb :)
The house front is bleh, as it's officially foreclosed on. Ah well, looking to a new home and new adventure coming up.
But today, and the most of why I am writing a blog (for therapeutic-ness, I guess) is that this afternoon we got a knock from code enforcement! Apparently there have been complaints about weeds and looks and the fact that we never took a Halloween dummy down a couple years back. Side note on the dummy: Some fuck stole the head on it and then stole my bike the same night. You want to talk about a dummy, I'll talk to you about the punk asses that stole my bike! BUT ANYWAY...Some weeds? An old jet-ski? Really people, just FUCK OFF. We don't own this house, and as much as I'd like to be putting some money into landscaping and cosmetic improvements the fact is: This house isn't ours, the owner let the house fall into foreclosure. So now we sit here worrying about how long we have and stressing out. So I say to the people in this neighborhood who want to talk about my god damn lawn, I will spit in your god damn face. Seriously look around at the rest of the mass amount of foreclosures in this suburb and the windows boarded up and the guy with huge chili peppers from Chili's restaurants and the meth heads and pill poppers and then come over here like a damn saint and mighty bitch and tell me to weed my fucking yard.
Bet you won't.
Keep on keepin' on
M.
She's a 2012 VW Beetle and I good not be more over the moon about it. She's so fancy! I am a proper fancy lady now!
Life otherwise is fine, man's doing great. He lost 20 pounds by putting juicing into his daily life! Superb :)
The house front is bleh, as it's officially foreclosed on. Ah well, looking to a new home and new adventure coming up.
But today, and the most of why I am writing a blog (for therapeutic-ness, I guess) is that this afternoon we got a knock from code enforcement! Apparently there have been complaints about weeds and looks and the fact that we never took a Halloween dummy down a couple years back. Side note on the dummy: Some fuck stole the head on it and then stole my bike the same night. You want to talk about a dummy, I'll talk to you about the punk asses that stole my bike! BUT ANYWAY...Some weeds? An old jet-ski? Really people, just FUCK OFF. We don't own this house, and as much as I'd like to be putting some money into landscaping and cosmetic improvements the fact is: This house isn't ours, the owner let the house fall into foreclosure. So now we sit here worrying about how long we have and stressing out. So I say to the people in this neighborhood who want to talk about my god damn lawn, I will spit in your god damn face. Seriously look around at the rest of the mass amount of foreclosures in this suburb and the windows boarded up and the guy with huge chili peppers from Chili's restaurants and the meth heads and pill poppers and then come over here like a damn saint and mighty bitch and tell me to weed my fucking yard.
Bet you won't.
Keep on keepin' on
M.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Happy Sunday
Hello readers!
So I balanced out the juicing business and made it work better for me. I incorporated it into meals/snacks and bought healthier options and feel wonderful. I also got back on my bike today. Definitely felt that!! I used to ride all the time whenever I could and loved it. Getting back on is a work out for sure. My legs are jelly, but I love it and I will get back to where I was.
The Winter Games have started! This has also weighed on my decision to get fitter. No I won't become a world class athlete haha, but I will say that seeing what they can do with their bodies shows me just how much I haven't done!
Tomorrow I have set 2 alarms to get me outta bed and onto the bike exercising. I look forward to sharing my progress on here.
Keep on, Keepin' on
M.
So I balanced out the juicing business and made it work better for me. I incorporated it into meals/snacks and bought healthier options and feel wonderful. I also got back on my bike today. Definitely felt that!! I used to ride all the time whenever I could and loved it. Getting back on is a work out for sure. My legs are jelly, but I love it and I will get back to where I was.
The Winter Games have started! This has also weighed on my decision to get fitter. No I won't become a world class athlete haha, but I will say that seeing what they can do with their bodies shows me just how much I haven't done!
Tomorrow I have set 2 alarms to get me outta bed and onto the bike exercising. I look forward to sharing my progress on here.
Keep on, Keepin' on
M.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Juicing Now. Hating Everything.
No but seriously. I had nothing but juice and water yesterday. Cleansing out the bad in my body will ultimately make me feel better but I want all the chips and cheese and chocolate. The juices I've made are really good and sweet and I like them a lot actually, but what I wasn't prepared for was the fact that telling myself to not eat anything bad(yummy) made my brain go YOU NEED THIS NOW GET PASTA IN YOUR BELLY PLEASE.
Whoa brain calm down.
But I have been good and am on day 2. Drinking a lot more water than yesterday and I think I'll make it all the way to the end :)
Fingers crossed.
Keep on, keeping on,
M.
Whoa brain calm down.
But I have been good and am on day 2. Drinking a lot more water than yesterday and I think I'll make it all the way to the end :)
Fingers crossed.
Keep on, keeping on,
M.
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