Oh Wait, How Did We Get Here?

It's already into 2017 and I am still accidentally writing 2016 on everything. This new year is a time for clean ups and clean slates. I recently tidied up my own office space (again) and its looking much more eclectic and cozy:

I put effort into cleaning it so that I will actually write.

*******RECORD SCRATCH*******

I started writing this damn post on January 19th. It is February 7th and I am finally dragging myself back to it. I had so many aspirations to write blogs/chapters/mini books whilst on vacation during the first month and I honestly did zero of those things. I had great times relaxing and seeing my friends and family and it was an excellent vacation, BUT I keep beating myself up for not writing. I've talked to peers and looked up how to be a better writer and bookmarked the best tips for myself and dang it I'm gonna use them starting now!

*Write everyday for at least an hour. Y'all may not see all of the fruits of that on here but surely some of my writings will be the posts on here.

*Start making "To-Done" lists. I've seen this used by so many people lately and I like that you're low-key congratulating yourself at the end of the day to say, hey I did this! Instead of Oh..I have to do that?! 

*Read more. I spend a lot of my time on the internet and though it is obviously beneficial in certain aspects of my life, I miss just relaxing with a good book and giving my mind some exercise. 

Here's to 2017!

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

Stream Of Consciousness

I'm sitting here typing and listening to podcasts and thinking about my future life. Age is utterly just a number and in the generation that I am in, we have always been told to be anything. Do anything. Barbie held every job from a baker to a scientist to a teacher to an Olympic gymnast AND ice skater and up to president and then she was even an astronaut. When I look at all the paths friends of mine have taken I wonder is that what you wanted to do? Did you take the job to be successful and secure your adulthood? Did you take the job that was your passion whether or not it would offer a good path? Why did you change your path? I wonder if because we were given SO many options if that's not exactly the reasons that so many 20-30 somethings are not as driven. We have a laissez-faire attitude about life OR we are over confidently passionate about politics or money or issues. We post inspirational quotes and still drink ourselves stupid because our lives aren't the glossy 8X10 we post on Facebook. We think that because some of our heroes from our childhoods didn't start their careers til late 30s or 40s or even 50s that we still have time. I am guilty of this. I am in the same boat thinking that I'll do it tomorrow. And then next week seems better. And then I end up staying on the same path, same dreams put on the back burner when honestly if I just went and did what I want to do, plus still keep my responsibilities and work hard that I'd be living my dream. I feel that maybe in the back of my head that I will go for something and that it will fail and that's why I stay safe in my bubble. Then I put out a little feeler and I get glowing positive response and I feel so happy and so proud and I think to myself, Meghan honestly just get yourself on this path and DO IT. Take your cue from Nike and JUST DO IT. Do the small things, wake up and write in this blog. Wake up and go for a run. Come home from work and actually cook dinner and then take 15 minutes for yourself and learn a language. Write in a notebook and start your novel, start your book series. Decorate your office so you WANT to be in there. Listen to your man, listen to your friends, listen to strangers that have stumbled upon this very blog and liked it. Stop worrying so much about the negative and letting it hold you back.

If you take anything from this, know that this space is something that I put into the world and I definitely pour my heart into and show glimpses of my flaws along with fun things like smoothies and antler head-dresses.

Today I wrote and listened to the rain. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'll have a new journal and I'll put some new stories into the universe.

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

PS Thanks friends <3 :)

Morning Thoughts

Trying to write and also running around to keep a skunk from going under the couch.
Trying to write and not yet having coffee because you ran out of creamer and now you aren't sure if you want just black coffee.
Trying to write when outside there are lawncare people and they are SO LOUD.
Trying to write and it's dreary out but not raining so you aren't sure if you could justify more sleeping before work.

Trying to write and just writing a mini blog about trying but in turn, at least writng SOMETHING.

Keep on, keepin on,

M.

PS: I entered a local writing contest with a short story and once it is over I shall post it in here :)

Ooooo something to look forward to!!

Lazy Days

        Sometimes you need to be a grown up and sometimes you get days off where you can kind of choose your own adventure. Today was a half and half sort of thing. I did laundry and went shopping for house things, but at the same time I relaxed. I work retail and though that might not ultimately be the hardest job in the world, it wears your mind/soul out. I get home sometimes and all I want to do is nap. It's hard debating with yourself about how tired enough you are and whether or not you should nap or wait it out so that you ultimately don't stay up til 1AM. It's a bad cycle :(

       And then you get this post forgotten and you end up messing around with it for a half hour the next night. Coooool times!

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.
       

Ready For Fall!

Hello Internet Friends!!!!
   I have missed this. I am ready to take this blog and really do it a great service. I'm also really ready for Florida to be on the autumnal trend. Let's hear it for sweaters and boots for real y'all. But back to the blog, I really do like writing when I get down on it. I need to stop making silly promises to the ether and make serious promises to myself. What good is having a creative outlet if you never use it? It just makes more brain clutter, not to be confused with brain matter, haha you need that! Ahhhhh anyway....I'm going to write. That's it, that's all. I'm going to just get out there and do it or else I'll always kick my own ass on what might have been.

New to this blog at least, I want to start giving you a visual into my little ramble world, so thus now I shall add photos of said skunk or adventures or cool things my man and I create.

Speaking of my man, he and I are starting to plan and build for our annual Halloween shin-dig which is in the third year of life. It is the most fun I have all year. I love planning a costume, I love decorating, I love making party food and drinks and I LOVE having a blast with my friends.

Here is a taste of the first year:

And then last year(Where we really went all out):

What does this year hold? I'll tell you that the theme is a VooDoo Bayou after our fantastic trip to New Orleans this January. I think I've settled on being a swamp witch, but who knows? I tend to be indecisive when it comes to costumes! Trust that this adventure will be well documented this go-round. Til then....

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

Night Blogs

I feel that when I don't keep up with this blog, I'm doing a disservice to my soul. Like I want to be a writer. I want to put out the next great American novel. I have no clue what it will be about and I'm pretty sure I won't know until that idea hits me a 3AM on an idle Tuesday.

I will be 30 in less than 6 months and right now, today, as I type this, that is the 2nd most terrifying thought in my brain. The 1st one is for another night.

How do you know when it all starts falling into place? Do you ever know? Or do you just tell yourself that lie of complacency that you've been taught. This is halfway where I thought I'd be 5 years ago. I'd like to be fullway where I thought I'd be a year ago, but I'm just better sometimes at coasting through than actually making hard, uncomfortable choices and leaping off that cliff.

Here's to August being the month I really write full force and change my life!

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

DAY SIX

Oh damn, made it a twofer!


But seriously, can we talk about aliens for a small minute? Like how are we to know that we're alone in this galaxy? There is no way that we are the only proper lifeforms in this whole galaxy or even into the next one. The fact that we have 9 planets should tell you that somehow, somewhere there are others. I would really enjoy research on this.

Maybe my medicine is expanding my mind. Maybe its just making me loopy. WHO KNOWS.

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

December Ramble

People always tell me to write what I know and how I feel...and I'm not sure that my jagged thoughts would make a fine blog. I want to write as my livelihood and that is my goal in 2015. I think this whole blog has been about goals and wishes and promises. UGH. I want to do like 8 million things and I get a strike of fear and then I'm like NOPE.

It sucks.

I could write about my days in retail. I could write about my skunk. I could write about me. What does anyone want to hear about???

Who knows. Maybe I'll figure it out in the next month

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

I'm the worst

Yea IDK y'all. I have the attention span of a gnat some days and on top of that this week has been crazypants.

I work and I have my party coming on Saturday. Last Saturday's hike was so much fun and wouldn't you know, didn't take a damn picture! TOO much fun I suppose.

Trust me though, there will be a couple albums dedicated to the party.

In other news, I feel that my writer's block is an extension of all this stress and whatnot. I want to write a short story and start a novel but my mind is bent on all the party things I still have left to do! So for now you fair readers get a diary. I hope it's exciting :)

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

Stream of Bleh.

Hello! It is September and I haven't been around, and I am not committing to this properly. I need to really write more. I don't know how I can be on the internet all of the time and not blog. This is what I want to do mostly and I just fight with my with my brain like "No, no...you can't do this. You aren't good. Who's gonna read it?" And I'm not posting to fish for things, I've got swell support in my life on this writing business. This blog is seriously just a stream of consciousness. I see other people in the world with book deals and I just say, man why not me?!

I'll tell you, cause I'm not doing it. I'm just not out there writing once a day or putting any of my thoughts to paper. I'm listening to my doubts! I hate my doubts. They are rude and stifling. Doubts get in your head and drown your dreams. If you have this same problem, and you've overcome it or are wanting to overcome it:

A) Help a sister out!

B) We can pull each other up from the depths and really slough off those fears and doubts and blockades we've got running inside our mind.

Because that's really what it all feels like. There's this one part of me that is like yea! I can do this! And unfortunately that part is a little small and easily bullied by this other part that stands up, shoos it away and says, no no small one. Stop the nonsense, you can't do things like that...go back to what you know and shush.

It's sad. I started this blog for me as an online journal and in hopes of combating the struggle inside myself. I would say that this particular entry is the realest on the books and maybe that start and push that the small one needs to rise up and shout from the roof tops.

I hope so!

Keep on, keepin' on,

M.

Juicing Now. Hating Everything.

No but seriously. I had nothing but juice and water yesterday. Cleansing out the bad in my body will ultimately make me feel better but I want all the chips and cheese and chocolate. The juices I've made are really good and sweet and I like them a lot actually, but what I wasn't prepared for was the fact that telling myself to not eat anything bad(yummy) made my brain go YOU NEED THIS NOW GET PASTA IN YOUR BELLY PLEASE.

Whoa brain calm down.

But I have been good and am on day 2. Drinking a lot more water than yesterday and I think I'll make it all the way to the end :)

Fingers crossed.

Keep on, keeping on,

M.